WTF Moment Whisperer: On Flames, Racism, and the Courage to Dial It Down
Here to help people come home to themselves — one WTF moment at a time.
I’m special — just like everyone else.
That’s the cosmic joke, isn’t it?
Right now, my job is simple:
Dial down the flame under my own ass that keeps me charging in hot.
I don’t want to scorch the earth on reentry — only to rebuild from rubble and wonder where my ember went. The one I carry like I invented fire.
That ember is sacred.
And fragile.
🔥 When I Get Quiet…
When I finally hush the energized, exhausted, eager parts of myself —
the ones vying for attention with their to-do lists and “what ifs” —
I can hear them:
Kanzeon and Omi-san.
They’re my whisperers.
My deep listeners.
My gut and my knowing.
And this morning, they told me stories.
👂🏽 Try This
They asked me to listen closely as they whispered words:
Lonely. Sad. Grief. Rage. Loss. Uncertainty. Betrayal. Ignorance. Racist.
My eyes filled with tears.
My mouth stayed open, still.
Flashback —
Maria from Cuba. A social work class.
She asked the room:
“Who here isn’t racist?”
We raised our hands. Most of us.
And then she said:
“Take out a piece of paper and write down all the people you hate.”
I wrote:
Extremists
Trophy hunters
Pontificators
Violent abusers
Oppressors
And then Maria said:
“If you define what you hate by the most obvious behaviors you morally object to…
Congratulations. You’ve found your own racism. We’re all on the spectrum. That’s where the work begins.”
💥 A Real-Life Flameout
I was in a lecture hall once.
Behind me: three white male athletes, hungover AF.
Talking during the lecture. Kicking my chair. Reeking. Oblivious.
I told everyone afterward how much I hated white jocks.
But the truth?
I hate thoughtless, careless people who don’t notice how their behavior impacts others negatively.
I just projected that hate onto a group.
Maria invited us to look deeper — to notice the flare of our reactions, and ask what it’s trying to protect.
Then… see if we can turn it into a preference instead of a flameout.
And dial it down.
🌀 How I’m Holding It All Today
Today, I’m holding two worlds:
The broken one, where injustice and ignorance feel unbearable.
And the one I get to inhabit — safe for now, with my ember intact.
How do I live with both?
By remembering everything — everything — lives on a continuum.
🔄 Continuums I’m Practicing Today:
Judiciously investing my energy dollars in what matters
Choosing slow burn over full flame
Shushing the inner cacophony to hear silence, intuition, truth
Recognizing my own:
Oppressor tendencies
Extremist threads
Pontificating moments
Internalized bias
…and gently dialing them downPracticing being self-led without placing myself above or below others
Caring as much for me as I do for my neighbor
And then I hear the whisper, soft and wise:
“Oh, I see,”
said the WTF Moment Whisperer.
