Cruel Angles & Quiet Enoughs

What if ‘enough’ was never a finish line —
but a flicker of presence, already happening?

Well shut the front door.

Always flashes of the blinding obvious.
Never-ending visits to what I’ve misunderstood — or what needs the ol’ perpetual reframe-rebuilder LEGO kit.

Today’s mystery question:
What’s your working definition of “enough”?

I used to think it was a static place you get to set up camp. Like a place you get to live in once you’ve earned it.
But recently someone asked:

When was the last time you experienced “enough”?

Truth be told…
It unhinged me.
It made me come apart.
Took the wind right out of my sails.
Left me dangling at cruel angles. (The best line of all from Florence and the Machine.)

Exit stage left from the corner of the room I’d painted myself into with a crayon.

I got real quiet and pretended — ahem, I mean practiced — listening.
I tuned into my gut whisperer, whom I respectfully refer to as Omi-san.
(I’m not explaining her. Don’t ask.)

She did what the wicked wise ones do — answered my question with a question:

“Why can’t you remember the last time you experienced enough?”

And then:

“The problem may lie in the way you understand the question. How might you redefine your definition of enough?”

I briefly considered whether this was one of those irritating Zen koans.
Decided no — I love this question.

So... how do I define “enough”?

Without thinking (but thinking), I realized I’d always seen it as static.
Like a checkpoint. One and done.
Work hard, get there, stay there.

Maybe it’s that plateau people call happiness.
Or that bluff just around the corner that’s never quite in view.

And once you arrive? You have to pay rent to stay.

But then — the lantern lit. I saw the problem:

“Enough” isn’t a destination.
It’s not a reward.
It’s not homeostasis.

It’s not even attainable if I treat it like a place to land and hold onto.

So I held the question longer.
And Omi-san — dear gut whisperer — dropped me a breadcrumb:

“If life happens in moments — those we obnoxiously call ‘now’ or ‘presence’ —
then consider WTF is enough, present tense.
Can you spot ‘enough’... here?”

Wait... what?

That’s my silly go-to for everything I forget to notice.
Okay then — what about now?

I’m lying on my cloud-mattress-topper bed, feet in proper feng shui position,
clean, crisp air moving through the window, carrying the smell of someone making a delicious breakfast.

I turn my head to the left and see dawn breaking —
just behind the silhouettes of naked trees on the saddle and mountain horizon.
The lightest shade of blue meets a soft blush of rose kissing the dark hills.

Light is rising.

My naked body is well-rested, having repaired so much during the night.
Now it’s just sweeping up and polishing the mirrors before I rise.

It’s an astonishing moment to experience “enough.”

Then my mind starts to comb through yesterday.
Damned if there weren’t moments — many moments — that ticked all the boxes of enough.

Too many to list.

So I’ll just say this:

I love when I ask…
Wait…
Get quiet…
Listen…

And then I’m given help — from my own damn self.

She rocks.